Doesn’t time boggle you? It usually goes one of two ways: either feel like it’s dragging into next week or you’ll blink and it’s gone. One minute you have a long list of tasks where it’s impossible to keep your eyes open. The next, you’re full speed ahead and zooming through the day.
*Sigh* Will there ever be a sweet spot?
While I can’t answer that question, I can give you a list of hilarious jokes about time that’ll certainly crack a smile.
- Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time too.
- Why shouldn’t you tell secrets when a clock is around? Because time will tell.
- Why did the man throw a clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
- What animal keeps the best time? A watchdog!
- What do you call a grandfather clock? An old timer.
- Why did the man buy so many clocks? Because time is money.
- Why did the girl sit on her watch? She wanted to be on time.
- Why didn’t the clock work? It needed a hand.
- I held up my watch to the mirror. It was time for reflection.
- The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.
Is time real? It is when we don’t want to do something!
For as long as we’ve known, physicists have debated whether time is actually real or whether it’s something constructed by humans. However, office workers, students, and those with a long list of chores will tell you time absolutely exists. The proof is in Friday afternoons dragging on for what feels like days.
Einstein’s time theory and waiting in line
According to Einstein’s relativity theory, time moves slower when you’re close to a huge object. Ask anyone waiting in line for their food, to pay, or for anything else they’ve ordered, and they’ll tell you this is especially true. Every shuffle closer to the cashier’s desk makes time feel as though it’s moving slower and slower.
- What time is it when the clock strikes 13? Time to get a new clock!
- Why did the calendar apply for a job? It wanted to work overtime.
- Why don’t skeletons fight about time? They don’t have the guts to argue about deadlines.
- Why was the time traveler so bad in relationships? He always had too much baggage from the past.
- Why did the stopwatch break up with the calendar? It felt like they were on different schedules.
- What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? “Look Grandpa – no hands!”
- How does a clock greet its friends? “Long time, no see!”
- Why did the minute hand hate arguments? It didn’t want to go round in circles.
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
- What do you call a story about a broken clock? A timeless tale.
Is time your friend or foe?
When time is your friend:
- In the morning. Of course, this isn’t every morning, but there have been plenty of times when you’ve been able to get ready quickly, beat morning traffic and even grab yourself a coffee to go.
- Moments with family. We all have busy lives, but nothing beats spending a precious Sunday afternoon with those we love most. No matter how long our to-do lists are, we can always make time for loved ones.
When time is your foe:
- Birthdays. They say you’re only as old as you feel, but that’s hard to believe when your birthday is just around the corner AGAIN. The years need to stop moving so quickly.
- Playing the waiting game. Whenever you’re waiting for something to happen, time seems to completely slow down. This could be anything from waiting for a parcel to be delivered, waiting for school/work to end, or finally being able to leave a party you really don’t want to be at.
Try to make the most of your day…
Whether you’re trying to be the next Einstein, figure out time travel, or just want to make it through the working day, you have to make the most out of your time. Make it your ally by figuring out the best way to spend it. It won’t be long until you notice a spike in your productivity and energy!
So, the next time you find yourself watching the clock, try reading a couple of jokes, having a sip of coffee, and then getting yourself back on track.
